Okay, it’s unfair of me to say Chris Hemsworth is boring without even watching Thor, so I gave it a go. To be honest, my interest in the movie actually has to do with Tom Hiddleston, who is gleefully diabolical as Loki in The Avengers.  Sadly, even Loki is less interesting in the humdrum Thor, and I still think Hemsworth is kinda without.

I assume the filmmakers were trying to make Asgard look completely otherworldly, but it’s CGI’d to the point of non-comprehension. Maybe it looks better in 3D? I doubt it; you know how I feel about 3D. The film doesn’t take the time to tell me anything about Thor’s gang of friends on Asgard; I was worried that Rene Russo would go the entire film without saying a single word; and Natalie Portman is ridiculously unconvincing as an astrophysicist. The only time she’s convincing is when Jane’s making googly eyes at Thor. And why does she fall for Thor, other than that body, those eyes, the anachronistic renaissance fair manners? Again, the film doesn’t take the time to tell us. All their interactions feel generic and even incomplete: at one point, Thor refers to one of Jane’s scientific theories, which  we’ve seen her discuss with Erik Selvig, but not with Thor. I guess we can assume that either Erik or Jane mentioned it to Thor at some point, but the narrative gap feels lazy to me. In fact, most of the film feels sort of lazy, lacking any sense of urgency or vitality. I guess the good news is it’s not all Chris Hemsworth’s fault; oh, Kenneth Branagh, I expected better!